Seven Days III: On Wednesday, A Letter Home

Seven Days is a writing experiment telling the story of the life of one man through the events on seven non-consecutive days during his lifespan. (Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

The introduction and prologue is here

Part 1, "On Monday, A Funeral", is here

Part 2, "On Tuesday, An Awakening" (which contains sexual situations...just FYI in case such matters disturb you and you wish to opt out of reading this part of the story) is here

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Dear Alice,

I hope that this finds you well, little sister. Despite my stupidity when I visited you on leave, I hope and pray that you know that I love you with all my heart.

I got your letter day and I thank you for forgiving me. I was a stupid asshole and I'm truly sorry that I hurt you. I'm your brother, not your father (though, sometimes, I felt like both) and I absolutely had no right to judge you.

And God knows that I had no right to slap you. That was completely wrong. Period. As you know, something like that has never happened before and I swear to you that it will not ever happen again. (I do not apologize for going after that nigger who did that to you...kicking his ass didn't change anything but, if I'm being honest with myself and with you, I would probably do it again under the same circumstances.)

Amanda called me and read me inside out about all of that mess. Man, I can't remember the last time she was so mad at me. More than anything, I'm ashamed that I let both of you down.

I won't lie to you now and tell you that I'm not disappointed that you've gotten pregnant but it's done now and I want you...and your baby...to be healthy. And happy. I'm glad that you've got Aunt Amelia there with you but I wish I could be there.

I'm sorry that Daddy let you down...again...when you called him but I warned you that you shouldn't have wasted your time even asking him for anything. But I figured that you would anyway. He's too busy being the great husband and father to his new family to give much thought to his old one (not that he ever did anyway.) His wife sent me a photo of him and her and her kids (my "new brothers and sisters" as she put it.) They look like one big happy family. God damn it all.

Let it go, Alice, he's happy now and we're even more out of the picture than we were before. Mama must be rolling over in her grave.

Have you heard anything from Mary? I called the last number I had for her but it was disconnected and the last letter I sent came back marked "not at this address". Amanda said that she was going back into rehab a few months ago but nobody's heard anything form her since. I hope that she's okay. Please let me know if you hear anything from her.

The Army, to answer your question, is okay but it's certainly not going to be a career for me (too many assholes with sergeant's stripes and officer ranks trying to keep their feet on your neck for my taste.)

Truth to be told, I'm still not sure why Junior loves the military so much. But hey, more power to him. But, that said, he was right, this is probably the best place for me right now since I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. And hell, when I get out, they'll help put me through college so I guess I can put up with a couple more years of bullshit in exchange for that. I guess...

It's actually kind of boring most of the time. I had an aptitude for accounting so they gave me some training and stuck me in an office. Not so bad really. I just wish the base wasn't so far away from anything interesting. Being stuck out here in the boondocks with all of these white folks isn't my idea of fun. (Not that most of the rusty butt Negroes here are any better.) I mainly mind my own business and try to keep out of the way of anybody with the power to give me shit that I can't give back without getting my black ass thrown behind bars.

Actually there is one interesting person who has shown up around here. Her name is Angela and she works in a dime store in town. She's the prettiest little colored gal I've seen in many a day. A lot of the black soldiers (and even some of the white boys!) have been trying to get next to her but she won't give any of us the time of day. But I'm not giving up that easy (keep a good thought for me, kiddo...*smile*...)

I got a postcard from Miss Elizabeth the other day. Seems she and that Leon nigger got married in Vegas. I couldn't believe it, she barely knows the dude (not that that ever stopped her before.) He better not hurt her or I'll track his yellow ass down and kick the shit out of him. She said that she'll call you when gets back from her honeymoon. (A "honeymoon" in Vegas...how "romantic".)

Well, I guess I've covered everything from this end. Take care of yourself, little sister. I'll see you (and your little crumb-crusher...he or she should be born by then, right?) at Christmas. I'll keep sending what I can every payday, you just worry about taking care of yourself. Say "hi" to Aunt Amelia and Uncle Samuel for me.

Love always, your brother,
Malcolm

On Thursday, A Smile