Dear Candidates and advocates of propositions on the November ballot,
You can stop now.
You can stop calling my number with pleas that go unheard because I have the ability to screen my calls and I use it liberally and unabashedly during election time.
You can stop filling with mailbox with glossy, rabble-rousing, muck-raking advertisements that go directly into the recycling bin without ever having been read beyond the fraction of a second it takes me to realize what they are.
You can stop filling my TV screen with mind numbing and often insulting campaign ads that just cause me to roll my eyes and mentally tune out for the duration of their broadcasts.
You can just stop.
Like California in the Presidential race, I'm no longer in play. My ballot is cast, my choices are made, the good folks of the United States Postal Service have taken my votes and are in the process of delivering them to the designated election officials. I have discharged my duty as a citizen and there's nothing you can say to me that can change anything because my ballot is already off to be counted and I couldn't change it even if I wanted to.
So thank you for your kind attention...and, especially, for your zealous efforts to make sure I vote the "correct" way...but you can stop now. (But hey, let's do this again next election cycle, okay? Okay! It's a date!)
Sincerely, your pal,
Michael
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