easy money

one stepped up, one stepped back,
one loosened up her shoulder strap,
she couldn't speak, her knees got weak,
she could almost taste that
easy money...


Good news, folks, it looks like my financial situation is rosy as hell right now. Yesterday I got the exciting news that I've won $10,000,000 in the Super Mega Jackpot Lotto (or something like that)...and heck, I didn't even know I'd entered it. Hello, Easy Street!

Donald Trump is a sucker to work as hard as he does in order to become a billionaire...me, I'm just sitting back and waiting for the e-mails to roll in with all of my untold wealth just a mouse click or two away.

Why just this morning yet I got the news that I'd won $1,000,000 in yet another lotto and a helpful fellow from Nigeria alerted me that someone with the same last name as me (apparently a long lost relative...what are the odds of that happening?!? Wow!) left $37,000,000 in a bank account and he's willing to do the legwork towards securing it if I split the proceeds with him. Well, why wouldn't I??? $18 1/2 million bucks is not too steep a price to pay to get what's coming to me!

Man oh man, I've made almost $30,000,000 in the past 12 hours and I haven't had to lift a finger. What a wonderful, wonderful world we live in. God bless the USA...and, especially, God bless the Internet, the place where dreams come true.

"Easy Money" words and music by Rickie Lee Jones
(c)1978 Easy Money Music (ASCAP)