My friend’s mother died last week. My friend is a generation…more or less…younger than I am and his mother shouldn’t be dead…not all of a sudden…not now…no, not now. It’s not right…it’s not fair…it’s not the way it should be…it’s…
I know that the universe bends to no one’s will…accepts no definitions of “right” or “wrong”…I know that the world, the universe, life as we know it, is neither “bad” nor “good”, it simply is. (But still I look for reasons and answers and explanations to make it all make sense…it won’t make sense…not in ways of mortal comprehension…but I want it to anyway…)
Death always makes us think about life. About the life that breathes and thrives…sustaining and comforting us…in the intimate circles of our knowing.
My own parents are in their 70’s…from my point of view, they’ve always been there and, in my naïve child’s heart, I keep expecting that they always will be. I know that they won’t be…but logic is no proof against what the heart yearns for most fervently.
I want my parents…my wise, hardworking, beautiful mother and my searching, reverent, passionate father…to live forever. I want them to know that I want that even if I never say it out loud.
I want my friend’s mother to really be in a better place. I want my friend to believe that she is and take some little solace in that.
I want the universe to make sense to me even as I know it has no obligation to do so.
…listen to me now,
I need to let you know
you don’t have to go it alone…
and it’s you when I look in the mirror
and it’s you when I don’t pick up the phone…
sometimes you can’t make it on your own…
("Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own" words by Bono/music by U2)
- for MVT -
7 comments:
My hope is that I can die with my parents. I feel that their deaths...especially my Mom....will be the death of me. I'm 38 and my Mom is, and always will be, "home" for me. If I had children I'm sure I'd feel differently. All I have are fuzzy-kitty-babies and they are just not quite the anchor that children can be.
I enjoy your writings.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mom. My parents are in their mid-70s and in good health. My first husband died when he was only 40 years old. He had a heart condition and our kids were 14, 12 and 9 when he passed. You never know what is coming tomorrow, this is something I never would have foreseen even knowing he was sick. He'd had this heart condition for almost 15 years. Anyway, it takes something like this to learn not to take anyone or anything for granted.
I always enjoy reading when I visit - but, just had to comment on this.
I can totally relate. My parents were older when I was born, and I am an only child. I have that "hope" that they will always be there for me as they've always been, but I know (deep down) that is a false hope.
My mother is a 6 yr breast cancer survivor, and my best friend's mother had a very similar type -- but, he is 9 years younger than me, and his mother was 20+ years younger than my mother, and his mother died two years ago. It all really puts things into a better perspective when viewed from those parameters.
My parents - though in their 70s - are still young in my eyes!
Keep on writing - I'll keep on reading!
Hello! Just wanted to say I was led to your blog by "Personal Writing" which is a Writer's Digest periodical. You rock! -
Sister from the South
Hello! Just wanted to say I was led to your blog by "Personal Writing" which is a Writer's Digest periodical. You rock! -
Sister from the South
My parents were older when I was born too. Now my mom is 75 and Dad is 85. I think the hardest death is watching them slip away while still in their body. Dad has Alzheimers. I said "goodbye" to him 3 years ago. Now I help tend his flesh until his heart stops beating. My mother is fairly senile and difficult. When there is no quality of life, there is no life. It's sad, but maybe in some cases, to die younger is a blessing too.
This was awesome to read. Over the past couple of weeks, I have had thoughts just like this, but they made me feel weak and selfish, knowing the answer already; "Life isn't fair." It is a great help to hear that someone else can recognize where I am at. I really have been thinking, "Everybody else has their parents. Why didn't I even get a goodbye"? I now feel a little better wanting to ask the questions
Thank you. MVT
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