Monday, August 02, 2004

on the road to California

The rhythm of the rain on my truck’s windshield is too insistent to completely ignore. But I try to do so anyway. It’s going to be a long night and I can’t be bothered to think about anything other than the end of my journey. I’ve just enough coffee and cigars to keep me awake. I’ve got Garth and Willie and Loretta on the stereo to keep me company. I’m on the road to California, praying that that woman will still be longing for me after all of the time I’ve willfully let pass.

The road is glistening with moonlight and autumn rain and the reflections of other amber headlights zooming by at 75 miles an hour. My road is clear, paved with hope and regret and rediscovered love and passion; my road leads to an altar of love I’m willing and able to prostrate myself upon unabashedly. I’m on the road to California, praying that that woman’s eyes…bright and beautiful and easy to drown in…will still shine the way they only used to shine for me.

The night is dark and shrouded with uncaring clouds dancing their part in a fierce song cycle of life. My heart is gray and shrouded with the realization that most probably I’m far, far too late. But I don’t care. I’ve got to try anyway. I’ve got just enough hot coffee and pungent cigars to keep me focused. I’ve got Hank and Patsy and Emmylou to sing the words my inarticulate heart could never give voice to. I’m on the road to California, praying that that woman’s heart…big and bountiful and almost too tender to hold…hasn’t closed itself to me forever.

The shout of the thunder and the whip crack of the lightning are not enough to give me the slightest instant of pause. I’m on my way to salvation…on my way to forgiveness…on my way to the only arms that can give me welcoming shelter from the ongoing storms of life and love and bittersweet lust. I’m on the road to California…driving hard through the driving rain…praying that that woman will be waiting for me after all the time I’ve foolishly thrown away.

©2004 neverending rainbow enterprises, ltd. All rights reserved.

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