Nightswimming
deserves a quiet night.
deserves a quiet night.
I’m not sure all these people understand.
It’s not like years ago,The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.
They cannot see me naked.
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday.
Beyond the circle of blood family…the circle of love and hope and connection we are born into…is the circle of found family…the circle(s) we chose to join for one wondrously bittersweet reason or another. The circle of found family continues…from the time we can talk to the time we die and beyond…ever changing, ever waxing and waning, ever coloring the steps and choices we make on the path towards the light (and whatever lies beyond.)
The circle of found family is filled with friends and lovers…friends who become lovers…lovers who become friends…friends and lovers. Filled with former lovers, sighing nostalgically or spitting ruefully when our memories intrude unbidden in their nowadays thoughts; and former friends who danced with us for only a brief season before moving on. All of whom fade into the shimmering halls of memory gone but forever present just the same
There is an R.E.M. song…my favorite R.E.M. song in fact…that speaks, wistfully and tenderly, to this happenstance…and the happenstance of people, even people we love, knowing us without ever completely knowing us (sometimes because we don’t want them to know us completely…sometimes because all we want from others is the little piece we chose to accept and embrace, the sliver of emotional nudity we chose, consciously or not, to reveal.)
You, I thought I knew you.
Beyond the circle of blood family…the circle of love and hope and connection we are born into…is the circle of found family…the circle(s) we chose to join for one wondrously bittersweet reason or another. The circle of found family continues…from the time we can talk to the time we die and beyond…ever changing, ever waxing and waning, ever coloring the steps and choices we make on the path towards the light (and whatever lies beyond.)
The circle of found family is filled with friends and lovers…friends who become lovers…lovers who become friends…friends and lovers. Filled with former lovers, sighing nostalgically or spitting ruefully when our memories intrude unbidden in their nowadays thoughts; and former friends who danced with us for only a brief season before moving on. All of whom fade into the shimmering halls of memory gone but forever present just the same
There is an R.E.M. song…my favorite R.E.M. song in fact…that speaks, wistfully and tenderly, to this happenstance…and the happenstance of people, even people we love, knowing us without ever completely knowing us (sometimes because we don’t want them to know us completely…sometimes because all we want from others is the little piece we chose to accept and embrace, the sliver of emotional nudity we chose, consciously or not, to reveal.)
You, I thought I knew you.
You I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.
Thinking back on my own ever changing, ever renewing circle of found family, I am struck by how lasting some of the connections have been. I am struck by how fleeting, though indelible still, others have been. Friends and lovers…friends who became lovers…lovers who became friends…it is a wistful, tender, wholly incomplete list stretching from childhood…
…Bobby, Michael, April, Lloyd, Robin, Alan, “The Wizard of Os”, Gina, and some whose names I've lost…
…and on into my majority…
…Lori, Alvaro, Simon, Magdalena, John, Jesus, Steve & Anne, Nadelle, Joe, Marta, Debra, and others…
Friends. Lovers. Friends who became lovers…lovers who became friends…slipping into and sometimes out of (sometimes acrimoniously, more often not) the circle of found family…gone but forever present just the same. It is as it should be…a circle never stops and never stops changing…and the tapestry of life is all the more vibrant for that.
The photograph reflects,
Thinking back on my own ever changing, ever renewing circle of found family, I am struck by how lasting some of the connections have been. I am struck by how fleeting, though indelible still, others have been. Friends and lovers…friends who became lovers…lovers who became friends…it is a wistful, tender, wholly incomplete list stretching from childhood…
…Bobby, Michael, April, Lloyd, Robin, Alan, “The Wizard of Os”, Gina, and some whose names I've lost…
…and on into my majority…
…Lori, Alvaro, Simon, Magdalena, John, Jesus, Steve & Anne, Nadelle, Joe, Marta, Debra, and others…
Friends. Lovers. Friends who became lovers…lovers who became friends…slipping into and sometimes out of (sometimes acrimoniously, more often not) the circle of found family…gone but forever present just the same. It is as it should be…a circle never stops and never stops changing…and the tapestry of life is all the more vibrant for that.
The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder.
Nightswimming
deserves a quiet night,
deserves a quiet night.
deserves a quiet night,
deserves a quiet night.
******
“Nightswimming”
words and music by R.E.M.
©1992 R.E.M./Athens, Ltd.
Recommended listening:
R.E.M.:
Automatic for the People (1992)
Life’s Rich Pageant (1986)
Document (1987)
Out of Time (1991)
In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003
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