Tuesday, February 15, 2005

young man shadowboxing

"Do I...?" Oh-oh, the question...truth and/or consequences...

I told you "no" in a strained, self-consciously evasive way.

I really meant "maybe" but I knew that you had little patience with indecision...and "yes" was much too daunting a mountain for me to climb just then.

No matter, you didn't believe me anyway and proceeded with your agenda just as if I had indeed said "yes."

You know me a little too well sometimes.

I said, full of ardor and anxiety and anticipation, "I wanna make love with you."

Three words got lost in transition and somehow you only heard "I...love...you..." Three words make a universe of difference...but I was too horny to correct your "mistake" at that heated moment...("I love you, too?" What on Earth are you talking about?!)

I cried "I love you" while our loins were joined in the fever dance...while my sweaty hand clung desperately to your pliant breast. Of course I really meant "I want you to shudder for me...I want you to tell me I'm the best man you've ever been with."

You called me "baby"...which was cool....but then you said it again..."I love you, too." Oh Jesus.

You said "we need to talk" in a hushed, portentous tone of voice. (In my mind's eye, I saw a penguin in a shower of long grain rice...)

I was satiated and compliant...but not that compliant. I murmured sleepy man‑sounds and rolled over on my side away from you.

You persisted, spooning your damp body against mine. "Let's talk..." Aw, man...

"Tomorrow," said I, grunting through a pre-dream haze, "let's talk tomorrow, 'kay?"

One heartbeat...two...three heartbeats..."Okay."

Communication isn't always easy.

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