Thursday, August 18, 2005

Father's Day (Part 3)

Some months later, Kristin made good on her promises: she delivered a healthy, caramel-colored baby boy and she went from the hospital to an airliner that carried her all the way to the other side of the country. Jason tried to convince her to stay…first by pleading and then by trying to shame her. He succeeded only in making her cry. When she left Jason felt a petulant anger, a palpable feeling of loss, and a growing sense that he was perhaps in over his head.

He pushed his fear and doubt aside…there was no time for it. With the advice and initially reluctant support of his mother and his sister, Jason learned how to be a single father as best he could.

* * * * *

With the evening wearing on, Jason Robinson takes Christopher to his crib to lay him down for the night. The child stirs as his father fussed with him. "Don't you wake up, little poop bear," Jason whispers. "It's Father's Day and your present to me is gonna be a whole night's sleep..."

Jason smiles at his optimistic hubris. "Well, maybe that's too much to ask..."

Christopher Robinson snuggles into his blanket and drifts back into the deeper, carefree sleep of the innocent.

Jason, his heart full, his eyes stinging with warm tears, looks down on his slumbering son. My boy...my boy is gonna be something, he thinks. And as he gingerly closes the door, Jason was sure that he could feel his father smiling down on both himself and on his son. As hard as the past months had been Jason feels, despite occasional times when he wanted to be shed of the responsibility he took on so willingly, like it was all worthwhile as he watches the baby slumber.

Jason eases into his favorite chair and made sure the baby monitor was working. Then he relaxes and gets lost in a familiar web of thoughts...thoughts of Christopher...of his father, who worked himself into an early grave...of his mother, who hadn't been the same since (but who had come more alive than she had been in years since Christopher was born)...and of Kristin.

Despite the fact that he hadn't heard from her in months...even when he sent her photographs of Christopher...she was still never far from his thoughts. Sometimes he resented her almost to the point of hatred…but mostly he wanted her to come back to see their son, to be with the both of them.

Almost as if on cue, there was a soft rapping at the front door. Jason starts, visitors at night being extremely rare, and then rises and walks warily over to the door.

The soft knocking is repeated once more just before Jason opens the door. He is only partially surprised at the identity of the visitor. She holds out a single red rose to him and, tears streaming down her cheek, she smiles and says, "Happy Father's Day, Jason."

Jason frowns and studies her for a long anxious moment, not sure how to deal with having exactly what he wanted. Jason shrugs and swings open the screen door. He gathers her into his arms and hugs her tight. She tenses at first but then sighs ever so softly and melts into his hug.

"Happy Father's Day, Kris," Jason says softly.

"Jason, I'm..." Kristin begins.

He puts a finger to her lips. "Hush...please don't say that you're sorry...we both had to do what we had to do…"

He bends down and kisses her, ever so gently, and she relaxes once more into his powerful embrace. Jason takes her hand and leads her into the house. "Come on, Mom," he says with a happy, hopeful smile, "it's time that you were reacquainted with...our son..."

Just before he closes the door, Jason glances up at the starry sky and nods knowingly and smiles warmly. "Maybe…just maybe…I’m two out for three now, Dad..."

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